none of this should exist
and the least of these
wonders should have remained
starsoup never spreading into
stardust never assembling into
life were it not
for the swirling beauty
of the tiniest
disruption
We don't exactly have God. We just sit and try to stay awake.
none of this should exist
and the least of these
wonders should have remained
starsoup never spreading into
stardust never assembling into
life were it not
for the swirling beauty
of the tiniest
disruption
strange you say
how we measure grief
in years and not
by the weight of each
memory sinking to the
bottom of our guts
branding flesh that's little more
than emptiness held
together by tiny charges
curious you say
how the floor can keep us down
with the weakest force
as the pain wells up
through us and around us
but won't pull us apart
how it rises to the top
far beyond our sight
far above this nervous heap of energy
how it leaves us with the charm
of yet another arbitrary day to live
let go let go
he says with a buddha smile
let go he says
as if he knew something
i don't
need these things
need love
need to suffer
all we need he says
is to want nothing
so i consider
his wealth and renown
all he could afford
to give up
and i reply
that i would rather
keep this week
of dulled pain and unclenched fists
keep the day off
from the management of grief
keep this hour
in the presence of your desire
keep this transcendent minute
and allow myself some things
i was taught i could never have
somewhere on this trip
along uncertain coastlines
i forgot what my body couldn't do
and when the sun fell
through heavy curtains
you forgot what your mind didn't know
the change that came over me
imperceptible as the shifting seasons
so bright in its power and glory
and the change that came over you
formidable as a field of wild flowers
with no need for divine intervention
so when the storm hit
there was nothing to lock
and no one to save
and when the storm passed
we were still two
witnesses to the other's change
i suppose i should
fight fascism
cure cancer
or at least use my eyes
mouth and hands and be kind
to one who doesn't deserve it
yet all i did today
was calculate the distance
from here to you and wonder
what constellations would watch
over us swimming through time
going nowhere in particular
the soft words and ghosts expelled
won't serve any eschatology
the records of this desire
won't be stripped for parts
in a banquet speech
no one toasts to second chances
yet nothing we do
is ordinary
against all unkind odds
we are
fold your wings
angel you owe
nothing to paradise
nothing to the storm
that brought you here
fold your wings
witness you saw
all the ruin and
counted the shells
at your feet
fold your wings
and turn
and walk
for another day
the choir won't sing their hymns
for us their house won't give us
shelter and the heavy summer rain
is nothing but weather
we are here by our own signs
we kept our disbelief until
the heat broke and any blessing
was ours alone to give and receive
we won't wait in the shadows
for permission to squat
in the kingdom of grace
and we won't forget
their comfort and zeal
in the kingdom of power
not amnesty
but mercy
no redemption
just life and the memory
of days to come
hard light and dead ground
this country won't abide us alive
but on better days
the ocean beyond our reach
stretched and wrapped us in fog
just enough
to trap a few drops
on our leafless branches
enough
to drive our roots
into the loose sand
enough
to fashion our own dunes
and tap the hidden creeks
to give shade and bear fruit
more than enough
to share
this country wouldn't abide us alive
so we changed it